A fool’s lexicon

 

“Don’t put another dime in the jukebox (I Don’t Wanna Hear That Song No More)” by the Flirts: A song that should take its own advice.

Elkatross: An ungainly bird found only in captivity.

Finger food: No thank you, I’m a vegetarian.

Fish mapping: To diagram the paths of fish swimming in a tank, preferably using red lasers.

Karaography: Karaoke choreography.

Pre-traumatic Stress Disorder: The result of a pre-emptive strike.

Product may contain diary: So that’s why it gives me indigestion.

Raising a child: They’re heavy, but why would it take eighteen years?

Savory whipped cream: To go with pot pies.

The Exxon Mobil Art Department: The only way any university will get a shiny new fine arts building such as its School of Law has.

The smell of woodsmoke: There is such a thing as a time machine.

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