Friends… be honest. Have you noticed you’re feeling a little extra weight each night when you sit down to watch the evening news? Perhaps a touch of oppression, restriction, censorship or just plain disenchantment? Have you considered that it might be… what you’re eating?
I’m Myrtle Trumpet, founder of Myrtle Trumpet’s Revolutionary Freedom Diet Plan. My expert chefs have compiled hundreds of all-natural, politically satisfying recipes, available now in one handy cookbook. Food lovers worldwide have vouched for the effectiveness of the Revolutionary Freedom Diet.
“Thanks to the Revolutionary Freedom Diet, I realized I have a terrible allergy to Robert Mugave nectar. I was feeling Kim Jong Ill!”
“It was eight years of Bush beans and Condi Rice that did it to me.”
You may be regime-intolerant. It may be Castro-intestinal distress. But there is a solution. You can just say no to that extra helping of Vladimir Puttanesca. Say it with me: noa-more Gaddafi!
The Revolutionary Freedom Cookbook contains entrees, soups, salads, and more: plain old Caesar salad becomes Cesar Chavez salad. Whip up a bowl of Oscar Arias San-cheese dip. Chicken a la Martin Luther King. And on the lighter side, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf lettuce wraps. And let’s not forget desserts, such as Aung San Suu Key Lime Pie, Cotton Gandhi, and even snacks, such as Rigoberta Men-chewing gum.
Never crave another dic-tater or ravioligarchy again. Best of all, an additional chapter will be released in e-reader format in early 2013 on the off chance that you find yourself consuming too many Mitt Ramen-noodles.
“Another slice of Occu-pie?”
Myrtle Trumpet’s Revolutionary Freedom Diet Plan and Cookbook. Because despot times call for despot measures. Available wherever fine cookbooks are sold.